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#14056302 Apr 18, 2019 at 04:06 AM · Edited 2 years ago
912 Posts
As most of you know, our recruitment thread in the warframe forums has a section in the application form titled,
Tell Me a Joke!: Here's the compilation!
Some are funny, some cringeworthy, and decide....

My mom gets upset when I steal her kitchen utensils...
but that's a whisk I'm willing to take.

What did the policeman say to his belly button? You're under a vest!

What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB

Peter Pan punched a lost boy into the sky last week. They say he'll Neverland.

How many Software Engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, that's a hardware problem.

Molecule 1: I just lost an electron.
Molecule 2: Are you sure?
Molecule 1: I’m positive.

your momma is so fat she tripped over a cordless phone

Negative Reviews are just Positive Reviews going backwards in time.
1) Throw up from feeling sick
2) Go to eat at a shady restaurant
3) Feel better
Rating: 5/5

What did the Looney say when he didn't get his John Prodman signature after 1 hour of Index for some god damn reason? ... FeelsProdMan
(I'm sorry all I know is memes)

- knock knock
- who's there
- it's the doctor
- doctor who?
- that's right

Why Sants's Sack so big.....
because he only comes once a year

Why isn't the Koala an actual bear? It doesn't meet the Koala-fications.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

How does a farmer count a herd of cows? With a cow-culator.

A woman puts and add in the newspaper,
it said, "I'm looking for a man that won't run away from me"
(so she finds a man that replies and he did indeed not run away her, but unfortunatly he beat her)
she decided it wasn't going to work and she began her search for another man

She put an add in the newspaper again,
it said,"I'm looking for a man that won't run away and wont beat me."
(so she finds a man that replies and he did indeed not run away her or beat her but unfortunately he was horrible in bed )
she decided it wasn't going to work and began her search for another man yet again...

She put an add in the newspaper one final time in hopes to find the true man for her.
it said, "I'm looking for a man that won't run away, won't beat me, and is good in bed."
Several days pass by and she hears the doorbell ring...
she opens the door and sees no one there....
she hears a voice that says, "hello mam."
She looks down and sees a man with no arms and no legs...
she replies,"....umm who are you??"
The man replies, "I',m your man..."
she replies,"...ummm what makes you think that?"
The man smiles with a big grinnn and says, "I have no arms so i cant beat you, i have no legs so i cant run away, and do you think i rang the doorbell. :)

I was going to make a salty joke, but Na

if your cold go to the corner it's 90 degrees

What is hydroids greates nightmare ...........
.......A mop

there was a prison break and i saw a midget climb up the fence. as he jumped down her sneered at me and i thought, well that’s a little condescending.

Never trust an atom, they make up everything.

Tell Me a Joke!:
Me trying to do a spy mission

Why can't the T-rex give high fives?
Because they're dead.

Tell Me a Joke! - thats what she said?

Algebra is a lot like dating, you look at your x and try to figure out y

What's a Grineer's favourite narcotic? TEEENNNOO SKOOOOMA!
... I'll show myself out.

"Dota2 has balanced heroes."

Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my Swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!
Father: Really? What?
Boy: That the potato should go in the front! :biblethump:

"If I can do something that nobody else can? Sure, I can read my handwriting"

What's long,hard, and full of "semen?"
- A submarine
(joke works better in person)

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, I don't care."

"Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other SLIDE! AYYYYY"

A man hits a women with a car; whose fault is it?
-The mans; What was he doing driving in the kitchen

"I am the joke so here I am, imagine me presenting myself like that Kim Kardashian magazine cover with the champagne bottle and the glass on her ass"

How to stack up your Vex Armor:

I can't remember the last time that I unironically told a prompted joke; probably when anti-jokes were funny.
Maybe it's just the more candid & frequent ways that we get our humor, nowadays but, as my wise, pink papa once said; "Inhale the memes..."

"What's the strongest Cereal? Shredded wheat. Ha!" (Dad Jokes are the best jokes)


Note From Ed:
Hey Everyone!!!

So when I was compiling up the list of jokes told in our recruitment thread, I (up until now) still can't believe I/we have been playing together for over 5 years!!! That's F... I... V... E and counting!!! I was in my my early 30's when I first started! :sob: Now I'm as old looking as Harrow's Agility Idle Animation.
How old were you?!

However, with each passing month and year came stacks of memories and fun that still continues! And even though this is just a game, we have built many relationships amongst each other and a close-knit community around it. Thank you for being and hanging with me all these years!

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